Let It Go: How To Melt Your Freeze Response
Learn the secret to safely Feeling your Feels so you can Confidently head into the unknown.
It’s that stay in bed all weekend rewatching your fave comfort show for the 152,608 time because the world is
just. too. damn. much.
Freeze is that that deep need to hibernate & cocoon. And like, we love a good grizzly-bear–den–in-winter moment, but that freeze automatic response is telling you that your nervous system is overwhelmed & coping by opting out of being present by literally falling asleep to itself. It’s a full on collapse of your whole mind & body system.
Because nothing bad can happen if you’re pulling an Elsa, locked away in your room, Frozen.
Freeze, just like all of the other automatic strategies, is adaptive. But freeze keeps you opossumed (asleep) to your life.
Zoned out & numb to even those feel-good emotions like happiness & joy.
Understanding Freeze
When you’re overwhelmed, Freeze activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest, relaxation, and recovery. Freeze helps your body enter a state of temporary paralysis or immobilization, where muscle tension decreases, and both your heart rate and breathing slows down. Freeze is an adaptive mechanism that reduces the likelihood of being noticed or further harmed by a potential threat.
However, in everyday life functioning, the freeze response can become problematic, leading to feelings of helplessness, dissociation, or difficulty in effectively addressing normal life tasks.
Freeze can keep you stuck in autopilot - scrolling for hours, unable to get off the couch to make dinner, take a shower, or focus on the things you want to focus on.
You become paralyzed & stuck.
Freeze looks like…
(1) Emotional Numbness
You feel emotionally detached or numb, finding it challenging to experience or express your emotions. This disconnection makes you feel distant from both yourself & others.
(2) Physical immobility
Your body feels heavy, like it’s weighed down by an invisible force. It’s super hard for you to move and speak. You legit cannot do the thing you know you need, or want, to do.
(3) Cognitive paralysis
Your thoughts seem to come to a halt, making it hard to make decisions or process information. There’s a huge mental block. You experience lots of mental fog, forgetfulness, or a sense of being mentally "frozen."
(4) Dissociation
You feel disconnected from reality. You mentally check out as a means of self-protection. It feels like you’re watching yourself from afar, as if you're not fully present in the here & now.
You have trouble focusing on conversations or remember details of your life. Your thoughts feel distant, and the world around you seems muted.
(5) Avoidance
You avoid situations or triggers that remind you of past uncomfortable or challenging events. You withdraw socially, isolate yourself, or engage in escapist behaviors to prevent overwhelming or negative emotions.
(6) Frustration & negative self-talk
You beat yourself up over the fact that you’re stuck. You’re super hard on yourself and can’t understand why you can’t get it together. Your negative & abusive self-talk contributes to your cycle of stuck-ness and Freeze.
How to Melt your freeze ResPonse
“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free”
(1) Cultivate self-awareness
Learn how to recognize the signs of Freeze in your body & mind. Pay attention to your physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions when faced with stress or triggering situations. Can’t get off couch or scrolling for hours on end? Notice the sensations in your body, and become aware of when these behaviors occur.
(2) Practice Grounding techniques
Engage your senses to reconnect with the present moment. Focus on your breath, feel your feet on the ground, grab an ice cube and hold it on the back of your neck, or use the 5-4-3-2-1 method to ground yourself. Grounding helps anchor you in the present and snaps you out of your frozen & dysregulated nervous system.
(3) Do Gradual Exposure
Take small steps to gently confront situations or triggers that elicit Freeze responses. Gradually expose yourself to these experiences while practicing self-soothing techniques to build resilience and regain a sense of safety.
(4) Seek EMDR Treatment
Consider EMDR Therapy to address underlying traumas and develop effective coping strategies. Therapeutic approaches such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) or Somatic Experiencing can be beneficial in processing your freeze response and dissociation from prior stressy or traumatic experiences.
(5) Grow your Self-care & self-compassion
Prioritize self-care activities that promote relaxation & self-nurturing to counteract that harsh negative self-talk & inner critic. Engage in mindfulness, gentle exercise, artistic expression, or journaling to foster self-compassion & reconnect with your authentic self.
(6) Build Supportive Relationships
Surround yourself with understanding & empathetic people who foster a safe space to share your feelings. Seek support from friends, family, or support groups that validate your experiences and help you rebuild a sense of trust and security. You don’t have to do this alone. Freeze will paralyze you in your shame. Don’t let it win.
Freeze keeps you stuck as a prisoner to your own life. By thawing your Freeze response, you can step out of fear & have a say in what you want for your own life. You CAN take risks, face uncertainty, and embrace change with resilience & courage.
EMDR Therapy & Trauma Therapy can help bring you out of Freeze and soothe that negative self-talk keeping you trapped in your dissociation & shame.
Hit the contact button for your free 15-minute EMDR Therapy & Trauma Therapy consultation and learn how to melt your freeze & come back online to yourself.