How To Meet Your Needs: The 5-Minute Check In

An Exercise in how to slow down & check in with yourself.

Meeting your needs is the only real way you’re going to heal from your trauma & yeet on out of your toxic relationship patterns.

Likely Your parents didn’t attune to your childhood needs in the way you needed, which is a key component to creating secure attachment.

So now you have to start meeting those needs for yourself.

Building attunement looks like listening & checking in to your body to see what it needs. It means coming out of your normal, automatic way of doing things and prioritizing your needs over the things you have to get done, your mile-a-minute thoughts and to-do list, and crappy self-talk that keeps you stuck in resentment and self-pity.

Meeting your needs means meeting yourself in the present moment - without sticking your head in the sand in avoidance or becoming so overly involved in someone else’s needs that you neglect your own.

It’s time to turn the focus back on you.

The 5-Minute Check In

Pick 3 times per day to do this exercise. If you’re like most people, no time is going to be ideal. You have a lot going on, I totally get it. Do it anyway. Set this very small time aside for yourself. Fiercely protect it & follow through each day.

Set your alarm clock so you don’t blow past your 3 set times.

For example, I recommend repeating this exercise 1x in the morning, 1x in the afternoon, and 1x in the evening.

Let’s get started…

(1) Pause

When the alarm goes off, stop what you are doing immediately. It can wait.

If you’re a parent and can’t take your eyes off of your little one, have them participate with you.

(2) Take a Few Deep Breaths

Inhale & exhale. Repeat for a few seconds. Come back into the present moment.

(3) Scan Your Body

From the top of your head to the tips of your toes, do a quick full body scan to see what’s going on internally. How does your body feel? What do you notice?

Any pain, muscle aches, dry lips, hunger pangs?

You can keep your eyes open for this one if you want. We’re office friendly around here.

(4) Pick a need & meet it

Listen to those aches, pains, or body function needs. Get up and stretch your legs, get a snack, go to the bathroom, or gulp some water from your Stanley Cup dupe.

Even if you didn’t have a need pop up during your body scan - pick something to do and follow through anyway.

you are rewiring your brain towards less anxiety, more self-trust, and better relationships when you consistently check in with yourself to meet your basic needs.

The 5-minute Check In will help you build trust within yourself & attune to your own needs. When you’re present to your bodily needs, your body & mind won’t need to use your old ways of coping anymore - dissociating, numbing, checking out, going on autopilot, avoiding - because it will know that you are keeping it safe & looking out for its needs.

It’s never too late to start attuning & attending to your needs.

Want to learn more about how to come out of autopilot and meet your needs? Schedule your free 15-minute Trauma Therapy consultation.