Slay From Within: Meet your needs 101

Learn how to shed the bullshit & prioritize yourself.

Do you want…

to stop feeling stuck?

To have less resentment?

to feel good about yourself?

to have happier & healthier relationships?

Then it’s time to hop aboard the personal-responsibility train - choo-choo - and learn how to be your own advocate.

Meeting your needs is the ultimate act of self-love & self-care.

Knowing how to meet your needs will help you step into your most authentic & confident self. And when you slow down and give yourself what you need, you’ll also build more trust & security in yourself and your relationships.

How to Meet Your Needs

(1) Nourish Your Body

Your basic, physical needs are the most important elements to your well-being.

Nourish your body by eating nutritious food, moving your body, and getting adequate sleep. Pull these needs out of autopilot and bring them into your consciousness. They need your attention. Check in with yourself right now. Are you hungry? Do you need a snack? Do you need to go to the bathroom (nothing’s TMI here)? Are you thirsty? Grab your Stanley Cup anyway and get a drink. Do your legs need a little jaunt?

Well, what are you waiting for?

(2) Acknowledge & Validate Your Emotions

Take the time to name your emotions & give yourself permission to feel them.

Stop stuffing your big feels & pretending that everything is fine. Your feelings are valid, and it's normal to experience a range of emotions on the daily.

For example, if you're feeling anxious, say to yourself, "It's okay to feel anxious right now. I can handle that I’m feeling uncomfortable in this moment." Allow yourself to feel the feelings of discomfort, then take some deep breaths and use your regulation tools to soothe your anxiety. By feeling your emotions and practicing self-soothing, you are teaching yourself that you don’t have to avoid or stay stuck in your overwhelming feelings & big moods.

(3) Practice Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and patience you would a close friend.

Remind yourself that you are deserving of compassion & care. Make a mistake that would normally send you into a pretty awful self-talk spiral? Offer yourself words of comfort instead - "It's alright to make mistakes. I am learning and growing, just like everyone else." Remember that everyone else is walking around thinking more about themselves than you, so make the mistakes because no one is going to care as much as you do. You’re your own biggest critic, so be gentle with yourself & have some compassion.

(4) Engage in Self-Care Activities

Create a self-care routine that brings you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment.

Experiment with different self-care options until you find what works best for. Get yourself a skin-care routine, commit to moving your body out in nature, spend time journaling your feelings, engage in creative outlets, create a high-maintenance-so-you-can-be-low-maintenance plan, work on a sleep-hygiene routine, meal prep nutritious food for the week, take that nap, have a quiet & early evening in, use your PTO, or schedule some time with the besties. Bring self-care into your everyday life, not just in special moments.

(5) Set Healthy Boundaries

Protect your peace & set some boundaries.

Boundaries allow you to prioritize self-care, assert your needs, and protect yourself from toxic people & relationships. Practice saying "no" when you feel overwhelmed or when a situation doesn't align with what you want. Remember, setting boundaries is an act of self-respect - you’re not anyone’s doormat anymore. Start small and practice setting boundaries in everyday situations like verbalizing your preferences (i.e., “I would like to go for a hike instead of going to the movies.”) & asking for or declining activities that don't align with your needs (“Thank you so much for the invite to your birthday dinner! As it turns out, I’m not going to be able to make it, but I hope you have the best time!”).

(6) Get in Touch with Your Inner Child

Engage in activities that bring you joy & spark your imagination.

Remember those childhood hobbies or interests of yesteryear? Plan to indulge in playful activities that reconnect you to the carefree days of your childhood. Meeting your younger-self needs is important to healing some of those bigger childhood wounds - ultimately impeding your ability to meet your adult needs.

Throw on a nostalgic movie, adopt the dog that your parents never let you have, eat all of the EasyBake batter, throw yourself into the ocean waves with abandon, Shrinky Dink a stained glassed masterpiece, tip over that swing-set, grab a personal-pan pizza from the Hut, make a collage for your metaphorical trapper keeper with your favorite Lisa Frank stickers, Polly Pocket it up with your niece, get yourself some adult Dunkaroos (teddy grahams and vanilla icing - you’re welcome), create your perfect NOW playlist, go sledding, strap on some roller blades, borrow the neighbor kid’s Power Wheels, eat a Lunchable, make the friendship bracelets, put the glitter gel in your hair, revive your tamagotchi, color with permanent marker, roll the rubber cement glue, and only eat the marshmallows from the Lucky Charms box.

(7) Keep One Promise to Yourself a Day

Build trust with yourself by committing to keep one small promise to yourself a day.

Make the bed every morning, set up those doctors appointments, slather on your facial SPF, floss your teeth, or make yourself a nutrient packed smoothie in the morning. Pick one small thing you will do for yourself everyday. Make a pact with yourself to follow through and show up for yourself - no matter what.

It’s going to take some time to unlearn those former ways of thinking that kept you stuck in autopilot, disconnected from your body & your needs. Be patient with yourself, get connected to a good attachment trauma therapist, and be sure to celebrate your progress along the way.

You ARE worthy of love, care, & a fulfilling life.

By meeting your own needs and prioritizing your well-being, you can shed the bullshit & slay from within. It’s time to find your own identify, grow a backbone, and be your most authentic bad bitch & confident queen.

Want to learn more about how to meet your needs? Reach out for your free 15-minute Attachment Trauma Therapy consultation.